Lust :
Is a psychological force which is considered an immoral desire whereas passion, similar in interpretation, is considered to be an acceptable as it is more intellectual rather than physical. The feeling of lust has no degree of responsibility associated with it. So in terms of TheCode, RRR (Respect before Responsibility before Rights), the word LUST has no significance or relevance.
Love:
Is a very powerful word and plays a very significant role in most religions. Love is considered to be the No. 1 priority as far as human relationships are concerned. Love has many interpretations and Ancient Greek philosophers identified five forms of love. There are many modern variations on the word associated with a large number of both good, and bad connotations. Thus love has almost a platitude and as such has two extremes: Firstly one of total servitude and the other being almost an excuse for dominance. The latter interpretation of LOVE can become a justification or Qualification of lust.
Respect:
Respect is a two way street. This makes it less ambiguous than LOVE and has the additional significance of being a desirable REQUIREMENT for any well balanced person. Thus RESPECT has a quality of balance which is in keeping with application of the Yin Yang principles with which I try to align TheCode.
Respect can be applied to all of the 8 dynamics with far more meaning than the word love. It is very difficult to love oneself (unless you are a narcissist) but it is pretty acceptable to say that you should RESPECT your body (by looking after it – exercise and good food) and your soul or spirit (by adhering to TheCode as a moral compass which empowers DIGNITY). In fact respecting ones SELF as a spiritual being is far easier and more manageable than having to know where you come from, where you are going and what you are doing here. You can just respect the fact of who you are and be grateful that you have the opportunity to interact (and RESPECT in turn) the world around you. The real power is that you can respect a view or opinion that is contrary to your own beliefs without reacting to it or wanting to change or destroy it. Loving XYZ because it has ??? when you despise ??? is very difficult to do whereas respecting that XYZ has ??? and being able to leave it at that is not demanding or restricting in any way.
Respect can be a very gentle process as well and can be shown or enjoyed in many ways. This description of an elderly person’s “attitude to life in general” is an excellent way to show the world some RESPECT:
I asked a friend who has crossed 70 & is heading towards 80 what sort of changes he is feeling in himself? He sent me the following:
1 After loving my parents, my siblings, my spouse, my children and my friends, I have now started loving myself.
2 I have realized that I am not “Atlas”. The world does not rest on my shoulders.
3 I have stopped bargaining with vegetable & fruit vendors. A few pennies more is not going to break me, but it might help the poor fellow save for his daughter’s school fees.
4 I leave my waitress a big tip. The extra money might bring a smile to her face. She is toiling much harder for a living than I am.
5 I stopped telling the elderly that they’ve already narrated that story many times. The story makes them walk down memory lane & relive their past.
6 I have learned not to correct people even when I know they are wrong. The onus of making everyone perfect is not on me. Peace is more precious than perfection.
7 I give compliments freely & generously. Compliments are a mood enhancer not only for the recipient, but also for me. And a small tip for the recipient of a compliment, never, NEVER turn it down, just say “Thank You.”
8 I have learned not to bother about a crease or a spot on my shirt. Personality speaks louder than appearances.
9 I walk away from people who don’t value me. They might not know my worth, but I do.
10 I remain cool when someone plays dirty to outrun me in the rat race. I am not a rat & neither am I in any race.
11 I am learning not to be embarrassed by my emotions. It’s my emotions that make me human.
12 I have learned that it’s better to drop the ego than to break a relationship. My ego will keep me aloof, whereas with relationships, I will never be alone.
13 I have learned to live each day as if it’s the last. After all, it might be the last.
14 I am doing what makes me happy. I am responsible for my happiness, and I owe it to myself. Happiness is a choice. You can be happy at any time, just choose to be!
I decided to share this for all my friends. Why do we have to wait to be 60 or 70 or 80, why can’t we practice this at any stage and age?
It is also interesting how the word RESPONSIBILITY crept into this narrative!
I hope that this helps to explain why TheCode has RESPECT as the most important factor.
Jude